God Sets the Lonely in Families

I met Offrey in June. He’s the orphan boy I wrote about in my post Raising Orphan’s to Life. I visited him in Kafue, Zambia last month.

As I bumped along the dusty road in the four-wheel drive vehicle, I wondered if Offrey’s health was improving. I wondered if God had miraculously healed him. I hoped and prayed he was in a safe place.

A local pastor was with me. He was leading me to the home where Offrey was staying. The pastor updated me about Offrey’s health. “He’s doing better and is on a regular treatment of ARV’s” he said. This is good news. (In the world of HIV/AIDS treatment, the abbreviation for the combination of anti-retroviral drugs taken by those suffering with HIV is commonly referred to as ARV’s)

Access to ARV’s and receiving the life prolonging drugs is only half the battle for Offrey. The pastor explained it this way, “Offrey struggles because of the illness. It is hard for him. He has little strength. He’s not able to attend school. But the hardest thing for Offrey is not the physical pain of his illness, what’s hardest for him is the loneliness.”

Offrey met me at the door and shook my hand. He smiled and we exchanged an awkward hug. We sat in the home of his aunt. It was good to see him out of bed and walking. We sat with the pastor and visited. Small talk mostly.

The pastor provided me a bit more background on Offrey’s extended family. Several Christian women in the area visit Offrey a couple times per week. They’re part of a home-based care group that visits those suffering with AIDS. 

“Offrey, what do like to do?” I asked. “Do you enjoy playing football (soccer)?” He looked toward the pastor as if he was searching for permission or assurance before answering me. “No, I don’t really like football anymore” he said.  The pastor gently reminded me that Offrey has been sick for some time.  

In my mind I thought about what a stupid question that was, especially my presumption that football must be something he enjoys. I had hoped my question would generate a positive response from Offrey. I was wrong. My question made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to offend his guest, but he also didn’t want to say yes just to please me.

The silence that followed seemed to last for forever. Thoughts streamed through my mind…no mother…no father…currently lives with his aunt…lived with his uncle just three months ago…gets passed around like the unwanted gift at a white elephant exchange…friends don’t ask him to play football anymore…no schoolmates…can I even relate to this kind of loneliness?

“How old are you?” I asked. “Sixteen” he replied. Malnutrition stunted his growth. HIV made him very thin. Again, thoughts raced through my mind…my best guess was that he was 10-12 years old…16…really?…I hope my surprise is not evident on my face…what do I know?…how arrogant to presume I know anything about Offrey…God, why am I here?

I took a deep breath. “Offrey, can we be friends?” I had hoped for a quick response but he took a moment to think about my request. Then he smiled. “Yes, we can be friends.” Offrey and I continued to share with one another. His great desire is to be well enough to return to school in January 09.

So often I feel helpless when meeting children like Offrey, but never hopeless. There’s too much evidence of God’s mercy, grace and compassion in the life of Offrey to feel hopeless.

When I met Offrey in June, he was confined to a bed, to weak to sit up. But the Lord helped him attend Camp Hope, despite what seemed impossible with his illness. A pastor who met Offrey at Camp Hope has taken interest in his care. The pastor now regularly visits Offrey.  An aunt has graciously offered to care for Offrey. He’s receiving ARV treatment. Two faithful Christian women visit him weekly to help with his treatments and prepare meals for him.

I’m not sure I can do much on my own to relieve the burden of Offrey’s loneliness. I’ll do the best I can. I’ll write him. I’ll visit him. I’ll pray for him. But thankfully, I’m not carrying this burden alone.

The very day I visited Offrey, I received notice that someone from the U.S. had pledged to sponsor Offrey. God is good. He truly is a father to the fatherless. He sets the lonely in families. (Ref. Psalm 68:5a, 6a). Offrey, through his faith in Jesus Christ is an adopted son, forever in the family of God, both in this life and life eternal.

Take a moment today and thank God for your family. Thank Him for your health. Thank Him that He cares enough…to set the lonely in families. Pray for Offrey.

Comments

[Johna Welliver]

I came across your blog when I did a search for Offrey's name. Last summer my 16 year old daughter went to Zambia and was there when Offrey went to Camp Hope. She came home with Offrey's picture, told me how AIDS has damaged his body, and that he needed sponsorship. A few months went by and she continued to talk about Offrey. She wanted to sponsor Offrey, but didn't have a job. Finally, she decided to go on faith and send in the sponsorship regardless of whether she had a job or not...trusting God for the money each month. Every month God has provided the money for her to send in the sponsorship. Thank you for sharing the story of Offrey...God is so much bigger than our ways!!

[Sophie Hartman]

This is wonderful! I was at Camp Hope when Offrey was able to come on the last day! What an incredible story this boy has and I can only imagine how God is and will continue to use him.